Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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