She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
