I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
