We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize