rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
