Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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