This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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