Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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