what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I touched a dick in church today
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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