You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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