omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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