Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
