His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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