So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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