He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just made my gag reflex go away.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
