i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
