Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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