He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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