sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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