the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
