And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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