where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
