its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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