Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
