i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
