i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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