I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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