Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
