You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
