1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
