My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize