You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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