it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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