I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
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i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
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Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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