He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
