Don't make out with my wife yet
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
