Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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