I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
