I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
