all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I would ride that face into the sunset
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
