3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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