During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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