I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.