two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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