thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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