There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
