Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
