Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
