david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
