My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize