wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
