I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
this hospital has no fireball
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
