How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
