We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
