If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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