I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
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I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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