My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
pray to the hookup gods
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
