I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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