How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
