Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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