I skipped work to stalk him.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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