I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
